I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
