end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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