I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
