So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
I just gift wrapped bread.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
