do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Randomize
