I showed him my bush... on skype.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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