If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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