I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
