As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize