this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
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