What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Randomize
