I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
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