Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
