Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
