Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
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