week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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