I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
i think i just lost a toe
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Is that strawberry winking at me??
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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