what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
