The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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