Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Randomize