dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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