Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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