Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(415): View more from California

I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI

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(419): View more from Ohio

with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter

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(720): View more from Colorado

the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.

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(715): View more from Wisconsin

I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.

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(309): View more from Illinois

Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete

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(760): View more from California

i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have

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(803): View more from South Carolina

life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.

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(816): View more from Missouri

I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.

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(970): View more from Colorado

If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...

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