I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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