I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
