Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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