Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
