Soap is not a condiment
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
