Having a random hookup so left but love u
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Randomize
