I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize