i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
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