i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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