Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I am naked and annoyed.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Randomize
