he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
