Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
