belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
