what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
