Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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