A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
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