Whod you bang
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
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