where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Randomize
