Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
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