Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
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