Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize
