why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I just had sex on a roof
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Randomize
