so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
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