You're completely useless in the revolution.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
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