Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Help. Why am I so naked?
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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