how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
