I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
