forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
operation harelip BJ is a go
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Randomize
