ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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