I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
