im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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