You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Randomize
