But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
This is the high leading the old right now
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
