she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Randomize
