I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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