he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
When are your genitals available?
i think i just lost a toe
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Randomize
