Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Randomize
