yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
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