It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
