Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
