like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
He has the fingertips of a God
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
