1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
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