Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
