well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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