Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
