I CAN MOONWALK!
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
