wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I need to sanitize my soul.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
