saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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