There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize