I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I didn't notice because vodka
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Randomize
