I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
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