there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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