I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
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