I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
