..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
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