at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
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