508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
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