Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Randomize
