don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
We had to coat check the pizza.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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