I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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