that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
